I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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