and you said cock pushups were impossible
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
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