That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
