I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
