Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
