swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize