Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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