First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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