looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
