i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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