I faked an abortion last night.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize