we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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