I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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