I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
