she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
