You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
