Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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