there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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