Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
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She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
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He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I love you.
Bad choice
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