If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
