Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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