Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
