I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
