is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
