Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment