Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
