I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whose ass print is on the piano?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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