Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!