hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?