we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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