Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊