I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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