Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
