so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You pole danced in your parka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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