OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize