If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
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I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
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I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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