We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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