1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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