"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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