i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Please don't give away my fajitas
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