Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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