you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize