i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
