I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
