I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
His nipple licking is glorious
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