Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
