Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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