During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
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I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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