Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize