if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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