If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Be still, my beating vagina.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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