you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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