girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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