we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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