ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Randomize
