i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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