Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize