Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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