I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
