he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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