She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
