I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
