i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
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