apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize