i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
it glows. i had to have it.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
