grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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