take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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