we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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