I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
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Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
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This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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