i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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