forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
