Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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